It was a really tiring Tuesday, I can still remember, the incident that took place in the last week of Sweating Summer April. I saw my friend having Dairy Milk, a delicacy that was awesome for me since childhood. She almost finished her last bite and unknowingly, seeing the wrapper I asked her if there was any left. Sometimes even the smallest bite of your desired delicacy shall suffice your desire only if you don’t have a sweet tooth, else that desire to have more sweet delicacy arises bringing a pang of guilt in your mind that you don’t have it. Of course, I deserved the answer as a big “NO” but then god has kept something for me. I was still going to the classroom that was a bit away from our usual Lecture Hall, where we attend most of our Sleeping Pill classes.
Being a psychiatric patient having small memory losses since childhood, I completely forgot that I too had one in my bag. I had the same guilt of not having that packet of Dairy Milk with me in the morning when I saw a Kinder Garden Toddler living in my neighbourhood was given Dairy Milk by her Mom. I had then a strong desire to buy one for me even if I get late to my college. I just went to that shop near my college and bought a packet of Dairy Milk from that shopkeeper who was kind enough to fasten his process of opening his shop that included praying and lighting an incense stick inside and get me late of extra 10 minutes for the morning class. Can’t help when you get good scolding after that while your heart is already content with that possession in your pocket that values equal to an Olympic Medal for you!
Coming back, that friend of mine asked me if I brought an extra Pen. She forgot her in Lecture Hall we just came from. Even though I am a person with a bit of memory loss with a tendency to rush every time, I still make a point that I check my Bag for all necessities, every morning, including an Antiseptic Hand wash and a Comb, to make it a perfect emergency Travel Bag with a shortage of food, which of course, I could buy of on the way. I just in haste brought out a thing from my bag that could create Sensation in my surroundings, for it was the same Dairy Milk packet, I bought that morning. I could clearly feel the sense of butterflies dancing in her stomach. I brought a grand smile to her face. I believe she even forgot that she asked me for a pen and I took the wrong thing out of the bag. A pen was more necessary to her at that moment when the professor inside the class could at any moment turn nasty for not being ready to write her notes cum lecture for the Physiology Practical we were about to do that day.
“Too much chocolate is injurious to health. Can you please share a bite?”, a conversation she started with a smiley on her face that I regret for I knew that I had to deny for the time being. “I’ll give you when the population count is low”, I said to her with a blink of an eye to console her, that did make her frown but that was no other option. I gave her the pen, kept that chocolate inside as if a well-guarded treasure. Whole period I was thinking one thing in my mind. She had a packet once before without sharing it with anyone. Why should I share? Moreover, she could buy her a new one than asking me once but then I felt it was an honest heart that knew no restrictions when to cut short the words that we often see the grownups have mastered how to suppress, blaming to maturity and confining themselves to an invisible set of walls they made virtually but doesn’t actually exist in reality.
Finally, the wait ended and we were allowed to leave for the class ended for that day. We were leaving when I found her at the exit. I shared the glance and said giggling, “Let’s have something to suffice our sweet tooth!” I took the packet out, shared the chocolate shared smiles and then departed to our respective homes, or hostel rooms specifically. From that day every second day, I brought a packet, spending my pocket money for two days and shared a bar of chocolate among ourselves. But now our group grew to five members including we two. It’s the same delicacy that I never share with my dearest cousins and always complain about it when I had to share but now the sense of togetherness among our friends, no less than bros & sis make me forget that. For the first time, I felt such togetherness in my Medical classes.
But every magic has something like an expiry date and time like we see in the Fairy tales, especially in Cinderella. The magical bond of Dairy Milk faded away in just two weeks’ time. Our Semester end tentative dates were announced and we got a bit isolated from each other. Finally, the last Thursday, we were about to have an internal assessment of Practicals of a different subject. That day I asked her what she was studying and there was a bit of anger on her face for she might have been stressed for the exam to be held in few minutes. I got good nasty words that made me sad and made me respond to worsen it. In mere four-five sentences, our conversation ended. We isolated ourselves to our best to prepare well. Exams went by but the communication gap never filled. I later felt regretted for it was my fault. I tried to say SORRY, for my spontaneous rude nature then, but it always went to deaf ears, for there arose a sense of hatred feeling among us, growing as a sapling. To worsen it I later texted her that as she had hatred belief regarding me which I don’t care and I have decided to promise never to talk to her. We later blocked each other on our social accounts. But I later regretted it badly but it was too late.
This Monday I found a stray dog near the Lecture Hall where we attended our classes, I still had a packet of Thursday of which, I removed the wrapper and gave it to that dog. I didn’t have time to check if he actually had, selfish me, I just kept on the floor before him to eat. Today while coming for classes in the morning I suddenly had a sprain on my leg that I couldn’t walk mere few meters to my class and the very first person to notice it and come to me if it could help was not a human but the same dog I gave my heart, unknowingly. Now while writing this I feel, where have our education system has brought us? A place where we work harder to get degrees, thereby fame and money from that, isolating ourselves in invisible boundaries thinking them to be walls that don’t actually exist!